A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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