im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
