then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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