Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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