I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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