I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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