The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
