i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The uberlube is also flammable
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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