I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
