There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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