Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
