i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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