Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im holly from the hills drunk
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
