Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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