hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's just like the Real World with babies
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I did not marry a roomba.
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