3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize