That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
