I want to make a zoo with you.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
why do cheetos always look like penises
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The power of my boobs compel you
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
