i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
