Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
barbara walters just said penis...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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