i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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