Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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