what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
