Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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