Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
