idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
