take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
