Porn is love you can see.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
