Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
