Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
