I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it because I queefed?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
