i don't like sucking hair
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize