Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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