i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
