I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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