Have you finally orgasmed yet?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
