I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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