we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
