THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
