Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I need a burrito and a hug.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
