New invention idea: vibrating tampons
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
