Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Need sex. Gaining weight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
