she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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