You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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