it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
