i don't like sucking hair
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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