she looked like the before picture.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
