I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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