I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
