we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
