Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
