Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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