You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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