Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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