So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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