My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
