I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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