For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
