i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's just like the Real World with babies
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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