I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
