the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
