i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
